Meeting opened 1.35pm. Wine was served and undergraduates mocked. The Warden then brought the meeting to order at 1.55pm.

The Warden explained that the College wishes to expand the endowment. Suggestions were welcomed. The Dean suggested transforming the Weston Buildings into an Opera House. The Home Bursar suggested a massive bikes auction. The Bursar proposed selling the children of New College School as slaves. Action: AR, MB, CT and DP to investigate potential Newt reaction to these plans.

The next agenda item was the swapping of the Freshers from the New Buildings to the shed in the Slype, and the Scouts’ smoking area to the New Buildings. Passed unanimously. Action: MB to ensure no word gets to the JCR or The Newt.

The issue of other college takeovers was then discussed. Christ Church was thrown out as far too small for our purposes, and St John’s was considered too irrelevant. Green-Templeton, or one of the PPHs, was suggested by the Chaplain. The Warden, though, convinced those present that the only possible target for takeover was the University of Cambridge. A vote was held, and only Dr Poole opposed. Action: AR to prepare the offer and banter Cambridge into accepting.

Finally, a complaint had been received by the committee about its closed-door nature. Door was opened, no-one was there, door was closed. Action: repeat at every meeting.

Meeting closed at 2.55pm. Tutorials cancelled and more wine served. Graduates also mocked. All present returned to the SCR. Next meeting of Master Plan committee: when current JCR have all left.