For those of you who have experienced an Oxford Christmas before, there will be nothing strange about the prospect of eating a Christmas dinner on the 3rd of December, Christmas songs in the bar in November, or receiving Christmas cards before you have even started opening your advent calendar. Those of you new to the Oxford Christmas, however (i.e. Freshers), might be finding it all a bit strange, so this is the Jess and Anika guide to embracing this early festivity. For those of you who have done it all before, let us refresh your memory…

There is a plethora of Christmassy fun lined up for you within the walls of New College. Tuesday of 8th Week sees LGBT Rep Alex Pullinger hosting ‘Fizzically Fabulous’, an evening of pink champagne accompanied by the sweet tones of the New Men (expect Pullinger himself singing the very high solo in ‘We’re Walking in the Air’). It starts at 9pm in the Long Room, and promises to be filled with Christmas gaiety! On Wednesday, Anika and Phil are offering mulled wine, mince pies and Christmas carols in Holywell quad from 5:30pm. Please come along; arranging it took some peculiar chats with some of college’s more notorious eccentrics! Rumour has it there may even be reindeer…

Wednesday also brings, of course, Christmas Dinner in Hall, which looks set to be awesome. If you’re signed in already, you can be congratulated for your speedy booking on the food website. If not, start nagging your mates for their spare tickets now. That, or grovel to FHA God Steve McGlynn. Jokes. Thursday is panto night, and anyone who was there last year will know how good this night promises to be; Freshers, take our word for it and buy your tickets now! This year, musical extraordinaire Lauren Bensted has teamed up with comic genius Max Pritchard to bring you their very own version of Aladdin. Rest assured, you will have plenty of opportunity to shout “he’s behind you!” and the like. The opportunity to see Johnny Howard looking even more womanly than usual should be reason enough, even for any panto-poopers out there. (Yes, we realise we are completely lame, but someone has to do it).

Friday is the finale of term, with Guest Dinner and then your Christmas bop on the same night, with a very festive New Men concert in between. Guest Dinners and bops on separate occasions are messy enough, so Friday looks to be absolute carnage. Be careful where you sleep though, as parents flood into College to pick up their darlings the next day. Last year, Jess had to do the walk of shame. Dressed as a cat.

So there we are… a week of festive revelry! Enjoy your Oxford Christmas, and your real Christmas three weeks later. Drink lots, be merry and we’ll see you all in Hilary. Have a merry Christmas and a messy New Year!